We grew up hearing it in many ways: swallow your tears, don't make a scene, be strong. Many of us learned it well.
But what isn't expressed doesn't disappear. Very often, it stays in the body.
What armour is
I call it armour. A cry you held back, a truth you didn't say, a no that came out as a yes. Each one leaves a little tension behind, and over the years it adds up: a tight chest, a stiff neck, a breath that stays short and high.
Keeping that armour up costs energy, every single day, even when you don't notice it anymore.
Have you ever said yes meaning no?
A truth that isn't said stays stored in the body. Our culture teaches us to swallow emotions to keep the peace. In the short term it works. In the long term, the body pays.
Try this: think of the last time you said yes when you meant no. As you remember it, where do you feel it in your body?
Why you can't think your way out
Many of us try to solve this with the mind. We analyze, we understand, we explain. Understanding helps, but armour doesn't live in the mind. It lives in the body. That's why it rarely lets go just because you understood it.
The way of the breath
This is where the breath comes in. With conscious, connected breathing, we activate the wisdom of our own body.
In Rebirthing, you lie down and breathe in a full, connected way, and you're guided the whole time. There's nothing to figure out. The breath does the work in the body, at its own pace, and the understanding often comes after.
When something hard comes up, we don't push it away. We breathe into it. The hard moment still happens, but it goes lighter.
Malu, who took part in one of my Rebirthing programs, put it like this: "I was able to feel some of my armour being released." (Translated from Portuguese)
What changes when armour softens
When the armour softens, the energy you used to hold it comes back. People tell me they leave lighter, more at peace, breathing better. And something else comes back too: the freedom to make new choices, instead of reacting the old way.
A one minute practice
You don't need to wait for a workshop to start listening to your body.
Once a day, stop for one minute. Close your eyes and ask: where am I holding something right now? Breathe into that place, slowly, without trying to change it. Just notice.
And the next time you're about to say yes meaning no, take one breath before you answer.
Your question this week
What have you been holding that's ready to come out?
If you'd like to let the breath do this work with you, join our Rebirthing workshop online, every Tuesday at 7:30 PM (Toronto time). It takes about 2 hours, and you don't need any experience. Private sessions are also available at our studio in Hamilton, Canada.